Friday, December 14, 2007

OPERATION DERBY INFILTRATION

MAIDEN MILWAUKEE 73 points over CRAZY 8’s 71 points

For those who haven’t been to a bout before (what, really?!) let me explains how it shakes down, in this case the first jam.
The ref sounds the first whistle and the pack takes off, lead by the pivots. In this case it’s Maiden Milwaukee’s Grace Killy leading blockers Madd Mallett, Sea Hag, and Sexi Mexi lined up against Crazy 8’s pivot Servin Justice leading blockers Kim N’ Tonic, Abba Zabba, and The Other White Meat. A few seconds pass and the second whistle sounds and the jammers take off, Pabsty Cline for the 8’s and Rejected Seoul for the Maidens.
Cline pushes her way through the pack once, circles, works her way through again, scoring points for each player she passes, and soon calls off the jam, scoring the first six points of the game. Cline will score 17 points tonight, while Seoul will score 12.
The Maidens quickly took over the lead in the next jam .Wow! Jam seven was a crowd pleaser as Abba Zabba was checked into the sidelines, Rejected Seoul knocked over, Sexi Mexi, and The Other White Meat sent packing to the penalty box. Zabba took the lead and skillfully avoided a collision with the bombed Nukly R. Assault. Seoul did some showboating before a time out was called.
Just before the half Captain Cookie Ciano was sent to the cage which allowed Maiden hot shot Romaniac to push the score up another five, leaving the score 32-40 Maidens at the half. Romaniac lead the night in the league as high scorer with 34 points. Cookie Ciano was not far behind, scoring 33 points for the 8’s.
2nd HALF
The heat was on and the crowd was going apeshit as the skaters got down to brass tacks. The Maiden’s lead widened for awhile with some speedy skating from their jammers and frequent visits from the 8’s to the penalty box. (ZABBA! JUSTICE! TUFFHIT! OTHER WHITE MEAT! TUFFHIT, AGAIN! JUSTICE: MAJOR PENALTY! CLINE!) The tide began to turn as Maidens also began to strike out with penalties and their sixteen point lead shrank to two. Pabsty Cline seemed particularily pissed at Mandini who knocked her down as Cline angrily swung back.
Abba Zabba jammed solo for the dramatic last jam putting the 8’s close but not close enough.

RUSHIN ROLLETTES 88 points over SHEVIL KNEVILS 47 points
The Knevils, announced as “The real Team Pretty” skated out smiling, doe eyed, and fluttered their hands in a wave to the “Ms. America Theme song”. They were making fun of the Rollette’s nick name, “Team Pretty” and the Knevil’s American versus the Rollettes cold war Communist sensibilities.
But the hootenanny was killed quickly for the Knevils as the Rushin jammers zoomed the scoreboard with lightening skating from Smirk Savage, Fly Girl, Dr. Hari Huha, and Jackie O’Nihilate. The Knevils caught up briefly as the half wore on. The Eviscerator put in a good jam and Irrational Velvet and Becky the Butcher were both left with jams in which they skated solo with Rollettes jammers stuck in the cage. The stunt skaters landed just five points behind at the half, 32-37.
2nd HALF
The jam is about to start and Knevils jammer Punch Kisser is staring straight ahead, ready to leap ahead when the whistle blows. Rollettes jammer Jackie O’Nihilate stares down at the floor concentrating her efforts. They’re off and O’Nihilate leads. The Knevils didn’t want to go out without a fight so they tried to play rough. Pound Anya of the Rollettes responded by taking down Trash Talkin Tina. Knevil Captain Becky the Butcher ended up in the penalty box. Soon after Punch Kisser was let out of the penalty box, her punch found it’s way to Fly Girl’s nose. In the end the Rollettes had skated a huge gap between the Knevils and won by 41 points. Fly Girl was the Rollette’s top scorer with 30 points, while Trash Talkin Tina was the Knevils high roller with 21 points.
SEMIFINALS REMATCH!
The teams will face each other again on December 8. We will see if the losing teams have examined mistakes they’ve made this last bout or if they are doomed to repeat them. If the Knevils want a win they will have to slow down the Rollette’s speedy jammer squad. The 8’s and the Maidens had a very close game and it will be interesting to see who comes out ahead this time around.

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