NIGHTMARE ON RYAN ROAD

A NIGHTMARE ON RYAN ROAD OCTOBER 13

A wolf howled as this reporter and Mae Killya (Crazy 8’s, out due to back complications) experienced our own nightmare on Ryan road…backed up turtle paced traffic due to a surge of derby fans trying to work through the down right spooky entrance to Bruiser Stadium (i.e. Milwaukee County Sports Complex, 6000 W. Ryan Road). This led to us missing much of the first half of the 8’s v.s. Shevil Knevils

CRAZY 8’s -68 points SCARE OUT SHEVIL KNEVILS- 54 points


Second Half
Milwaukee’s Breast (nicknamed “Boobies”) collided with Servin Justice (also called “The Wall” among derby insiders) and let me tell you, it’s quite a sight when Boobies hit The Wall. Milwaukee’s Breast had this to say.
“Justice gave me a loose tooth! But that is fine, because the damage I'll do to her next time will be more painful!” Justice tell me she really had no choice in taking her out.
“I certainly don't encourage fighting at bouts, as there is a game to be played, and a game to win. But, that girl talked to much smack to me the week leading up to this bout, and all the way to the line up of the final jam of the game. I normally can keep my cool, and I'm just a cool gal, but when the game was over I knew she had to go down. She's lucky she only walked away with a loose tooth and a fat lip.”

Halftime Show
The Beerleaders returned with their routine done to “Thriller”(they also did it at last year’s Halloween bout) with an impressive DJ Milkman as Michael Jackson. My message to them for next year…THREEPEAT!


ROLLETTES 77 points SPOOK MAIDENS 70 points
“We were down to about 12 skaters for that bout so a lot of people got used in different positions for this game. As a blocker I was able to play in more jams and be more effective in the pack. It doesn't matter how in shape you are, jamming takes a lot out of you and a jammer will ending up sitting out more than a blocker will. I like being a versatile player for my team and being able to go in where ever I'm needed in a particular line up. Although I'm glad I did jam once, I owe it to my fans to be out there jamming.” –Grace Killy

Second Half
“The Maidens played a great game. They gave us a run for our money but we pulled through, like we always do!” –Fly Girl

Next Bout…NOVEMBER 10
I polled Bruisers from each team to try to get the forecast on next bout. Pound Anya, co-captain of the Rushin Rollettes reminds why we should write in her birthday on our calendars…
“You could pass along to Punch Kisser that she should have really called me on my birthday. Now I have made it my personal mission to shut her down completely, and I will. And to the rest of them, I say that we feed off of hatred, so we will appreciate all the power their fans will give us.”
Irrational Velvet of the Shevil Knevils tells us why the Knevils are more culturally relevant than the Rollettes…
“The Shevil's are the kids doing stunts in every American alley. The Rollettes are communists fighting with cold, bittered hearts. Our strategies on the court are equally opposite. Because we are so different, the bout is sure to be really action-tastic.”
Grace Killy of Maiden Milwaukee reiterates her team’s ‘working class, kicking ass’ attitude…
“The match against the Crazy 8's should be a good one for us. I think we bring a lot to the table as a team and we are able to match and overcome any strength that the 8's might have. A Blue collar girl can take a scrawny ninja any day of the week.”
Kim N’ Tonic of the Crazy 8’s predicts that shit will happen…
“Maiden my butt. They're going to suffer the same fate as Shevils. I hate poop on my wheels.” Kim seals this e-mail response to me with a frowning emoticon. Now that’s not a good sign. :(