Circus! Circus! Semi-Finals! Nov.19

photo by Mark Baran
CRAZY 8's v.s. SHEVIL KNEVILS, First Half

The announcers have started referring to 8's blocker Servin Justice as "The Wall" and with good reason. The Knevils were spiraling out of control trying to get past her. And speaking of 8's blockers, guess who was the first skater to visit the penalty box? That's right, it's home sweet home for A Lethal Weapon. The Knevils have some toughies for blockers as well. Boom Boom Bender handed a thumpin' to Abba Zabba, Bump Kitty served some bumpin's, and Crazy Janie knocked over Servin Justice, toppling "The Wall", despite the fact that she is still recovering from a broken jaw. "Holy Cats...did you see her take me out? I'm gonna get her..." Justice told me.

Trash Talkin Tina(SK) was all over the place. In my notes, my abbreviation for her, TTT appears frequently. She was sent to the penalty box, and was none too thrilled with the zebras.

“I was sent to the penalty box for hitting Kat Scratch Fever in the face. Oops. I was a bit ticked at the refs because I thought they should’ve been calling more penalties, but whatever. I do feel like I got hit more often than I ever have before.” TTT told Me.

RUSHIN ROLLETTES v.s. MAIDEN MILWAUKEE, First Half

Both teams made good use of solid jammer line ups. For the Rollettes, frequent jammers were Poptart, Fly Girl, Jackie O'Nihilate, Reina Pain, and Smirk Savage. Savage was skating like the Tasmanian Devil. I saw her fly into a photographer's tripod and was knocked over more than once, but she spun back to her feet. I think I saw her do a quadruple flip in the air, but I'm not sure. The Maiden's jammers include the speedy Grace Killy, Rejected Seoul, and the mysterious and crafty Sea Hag. Beezlebelle jammed a good one, but did a fly over when the pack in front of her collapsed.

HALFTIME

The Beerleaders did a totally creepy marionette doll act with a seven deadly sins theme."Crackerjack of the Mad Rollin Dolls liked the performance so much, she asked us to perform it at their Christmas bout, Dec.9" Robin Ya'Blind told me after the bout. The Hoopafreaks whooped it up hoop style and Snowfire showed why the Burning Man Festival leads the world in glow stick consumption.

CRAZY 8's OUTSTUNT KNEVILS 56-44

The Knevils have had a rough time this season with no wins. That being said, they have a large and loyal following that has cheered them on every bout. Hopefully next season they can channel some of that Raw Power into some wins. Alovicious put in some dynamic jams, including a neck and neck crash and bash with 8's jammer Pabsty Cline. It looked like Mae Killya was in some severe pain at some point, so I asked if she had been injured.

“A couple months ago I sustained an injury at practice…the torn (shoulder) ligaments impacted my ability to lift a beer…I sat and cheered my team to victory (last bout). The joy of that victory gave me the resolve to learn to use my left hand to lift a beer to my face and lo and behold, I could skate again. Beer and a Crazy 8- it’s like spinach was to Popeye.”

Punk Rock to the maximum, jammer Sugar Tank was sent to the kennel. She explains,

“Yeah the only reason I got sent to the penalty box was because I was literally clawing my way through the pack. I had no penalties in the first half, the second half I think something switched in my brain and I went a little crazy.”

RUSHINS ROLL UP MAIDENS 60-44

The half started with Liv Wrong (who suffered a concussion last bout) getting knocked over and receiving a knee injury. The EMTs took her to the hospital, where it was revealed she had a sprained muscle.

True to form, she showed up at the Bruiser's after party for a beer. A Krulos salute to this Bruiser hero.

Next there was a slight dust up between Rejected Seoul and Jackie O'Nihilate, with Jackie O sent to the kennel. “She was engaging me when I was 20 feet ahead of the pack. When she finally got called on it, I made sure to make my feelings clear on the matter by showing her the sad rejected face.” Seoul stated. Jackie O had a more diplomatic response.

“I gotta say, in the midst of the flurry, things happen.” she said.

Grace Killy was sent to the penalty box, leaving the Maidens with no jammer. I asked Killy what penalty had sent her packin’.

“I can only assume it was for passing out of bounds. I was getting held up by the Rushins and sometimes the lesser of two evils is to pass out of bounds, lose the point but make it around for another pass, but not if it’s your fourth foul!”

A couple jams later, Reina Pain and Sexi Mexi started to get into it, but were both quickly sent to the penalty box before it escalated.

“I guess if I would’ve known I was going to be thrown in the box for basically a shoved arm, I would’ve clocked her and let it go into a full blown rumble. I felt cheated, I wouldn’t even call it a fight. Next time it’s oooonnn!” Sexi Mexi told me.

Jesse Jameson and Fidela Castrate also ended up caged. The crowd was going crazy for the last jam. A loud dude behind me was chanting Rollettes! Rollettes! over and over. As the final jammers, Reina Pain and Sea Hag, lined up he stood up and screamed "Hey SEA HAG- EAT IT!" It was a strong showing by the Maidens, But it will be the Rollettes facing the Crazy 8's for the number one spot at next month's finals.
"I'm so damn proud of all the skaters! From bout to bout it's very evident who has been busting their asses at practice because the skating skills keep impressing me!" Servin Justice stated.
I asked Rollettes Captain Ivanna Smackdavitch had words of warning for the 8's.
“Those ninjas should get ready for the Rollettes to deliver some serious communist blocks and Iron Hurtin. There is nothing more to say.”
Son of a gun! The Bruiser Finals are Friday, December 15th at 7PM at Bruiser Stadium aka the Milwaukee County Sports Stadium, 6000 W.Ryan Road